A Few Bumps In The Road

Well, to start out on a positive note, Kellan got his first tooth within the last month, gained a pound (now weighing in at 14lbs 10oz!) since his tube surgery 3 weeks ago and continues to be a very happy boy.

We just spent a week up north with the Daiker Family in St. Germain. A week relaxing at the lake was just what Brett and I needed. It was also great to help Kellan get on a better schedule. He started sleeping 12 hours a night every night that we were there, which meant more beergaritas for mom! My mom always told me to go outside and get some fresh air when I was little, I finally understand why! Kellan was a trooper. We spent every day and night at the beach, in the lake, on the boat, by the fire and he came right along, behaving like the little angel he always is. He loves watching his cousins and the chaos that comes along with them. We are very excited that next year he will have one more cousin to become buddies with, my brother and his wife, Mara are expecting baby #2 in January!

As for the bumps in the road….

Kellan’s tube surgery didn’t have the results we were hoping for. He was the best baby the morning of the surgery, sleeping the entire way to the hospital and quickly becoming a nurse favorite. Without being able to eat after 1:30am the morning of the surgery, I thought he was going to be super fussy. If they weren’t running late, he would have made it the entire time with a smile on his face, but the extra ½ hour he had to wait got to be a little long. We left him at the operating room door crying, it was pretty sad. They didn’t find any fluid as they were hoping to find. Kellan has moderate hearing loss in his left ear and from my understanding the nerve in his ear is “mis-firing” essentially not translating sound to his brain. Check out little Mr. Man laying on his dad’s lap in his hospital gown…of course grabbing for the phone.

Thursday we had a follow up appointment with the GI doc at Children’s. We got some more news that was hard to hear….there is a chance Kellan may need a feeding tube to help him get the nutrition he needs. We always knew it was a possibility, but we continue to hope for the best. As Kellan grows and feels heavier we thought for sure he was gaining a good amount of weight. After the appointment, Brett sent me an email that really says it all as to how we are feeling and the attitude we know we have to have to help Kellan. Pretty touching, thank you Brett J

I wasn’t prepared to hear that Dr Noe thinks that our little man would most likely need a feeding tube, and my initial feelings were of sadness and fear. Even though I had heard Dr B tell us that it maybe something that Kellan may have to have, I didn’t want to believe him. I called and talked to my mom on my way to my first appt, and I told her that I was so impressed and encouraged by your strength. When you told me by the elevators that we need to do whatever we can to give Kellan the best opportunity to grow and be strong you were 100% right. You weren’t scared, or indecisive, but strong and confident in knowing that we need to take on every challenge with him head on to do what’s best for him. You helped me be stronger today.

My mom asked me what I thought of all this news, and I told her at first I felt scared. Scared for the unknown. Scared for the idea of having Kellan have a feeding tube, but I don’t feel so scared anymore. I told her that the news was hard to hear, but that it was the reality of one of the many challenges we’ll continue to face head on. That we can’t be scared or afraid of what the future will be for him, but to put him first and do what is best for him. 

You were a great mom today.

One of the most difficult parts of his diagnosis was the amount of unknowns we have and will continue to have throughout his life. As we reach another bump, I’ve realized the unknowns are a good thing. We can take each of them individually in stride and worry about the next thing when it is presented to us. If we knew what his life was going to entail at this point, we’d (well more me) would be constantly worrying about the future. Now, God has given us the situation and taught us to live for the present and take each day as it comes. A huge life lesson that I’m trying to work with.

My good friend, Shay from college posted a note on her Facebook page asking for support for Team Kellan for Al’s Run. I’ll leave you with a line she wrote. Such a simple, but great message. Thank you Shay for being a great friend and supporter J

“He [Kellan] has the sweetest smile and the best personality and really has a lot to teach us all about love and life.”